Fool's Gold
by dragooncanon
Summary: Love makes people do crazy things and Zhuge Liang and Jiang Wei are about to find that out when they test a special love at first sight concoction on the Three Kingdoms and create havoc.
1. Trial and Error

**FOOL'S GOLD**

**Summary: Love makes people do crazy things and Zhuge Liang and Jiang Wei are about to find that out when they test a special love-at-first-sight concoction on the Three Kingdoms and create havoc.**

**+Chapter one: Trial and Error+**

Zhuge Liang triumphantly pulled out a small brown bag from his robes and flourished it before his protégé who stared at the object with great awe. They were alone in the room of Zhuge Liang. The doors and the windows were left wide open, allowing much sunlight to protrude. Smugly chuckling, Zhuge Liang said to him, "Jiang Wei, do you know what this is? It is a special love concoction that makes one fall madly in love with the first person you see."

With a skeptical look, Jiang Wei slightly tilted his head sideward. "Are you sure it's real, Prime Minister?"

"Actually, I just got it in a store in the city." Zhuge Ling replied, shaking the bag a little, "It's probably just a special mixture that affects certain hormones in the body. It's effect will probably work for about a week or so."

"Well, as long as the Prime Minister thinks it's real, then that's good enough for me!" Jiang Wei merrily chirped, clasping his hands together, "Have you tried it out on anybody yet?"

Shaking his head, Zhuge Liang replied, "Not yet…I'm not really sure how to go about using it."

A sudden sly look seemed to take over Jiang Wei's face at the moment. His lips curled into a grin as he moved closer to Zhuge Liang. He slowly moved closer to the Prime Minister's ear.

But Zhuge Liang remained calm, let alone for a slight blush on his face. He could feel Jiang Wei breathing against his cheek.

Twirling Zhuge Liang's mustache, Jiang Wei whispered into the Sleeping Dragons ear with in a low voice, "Why don't we test it then, Prime Minister?"

"What for?" Zhuge Liang asked. His voice was steady and firm. The tension was so thick Zhuge Liang felt it weighing down on him and wrapping around him.

"Just to see the reaction. It'll be fun and slightly educational. What do you say?"

"That sounds interesting." The Sleeping Dragon remarked as Jiang Wei moved back from him.

"YAY!" Jiang Wei suddenly cheered, throwing his arms in the air, "Oh, Prime Minister, this is going to be so much fun!" He then proceeded to skip around the room like an ecstatic child.

The Shu strategist sighed. _What am I getting myself into?_

_+Fool's Gold+_

Jiang Wei peeped into the hollow piece of reed as Zhuge Liang wrapped a pinch of the love concoction into a small ball with some thin cloth they _borrowed_ from Yue Ying's room. The two were seated on the floor of the Shu dining room. There was a long circular wooden table surrounded by chairs in the middle of the room. The walls were adorned with many paintings and decorative swords and spears.

Winking at his mentor, Jiang Wei asked, "Now, who should we try it on first, Prime Minister?"

"Probably the first person we see…" the Sleeping Dragon answered, finishing up with his wrapping. He handed three of the small balls to Jiang Wei and carefully put the rest back into the bag, which he then tied to a sash around his waist.

"P-prime Minister!" Jiang Wei suddenly gasped as he grabbed his mentor's wrist. He then dove under the dining table, dragging Zhuge Ling down with him.

"What is it?" the Shu strategist asked, arching a brow as Jiang Wei clamped his hand on hid mouth.

Jiang Wei pressed his finger to his lips. "Shush. I heard someone by the door."

The two crouched low, keeping their chins pressed against the floor as the door slowly creaked open and Liu Bei came in.

There was a puzzled look on his face. "That's funny…"he remarked to himself, "I thought I heard someone in here."

Quickly, Jiang Wei held the reed to his mouth and blew on it. One of the small balls Zhuge Liang had given him flew out and hit Liu Bei on the back of the head. A small cloud of reddish dust appeared causing Liu Bei to sneeze.

"What are you doing?" Zhuge Liang asked in a hushed voice. He looked rather surprised.

Blinking, Jiang Wei turned his head to Zhuge Liang. "I thought you said we'd try it out on the first person we see?"

"I know, but Lord Lie Bei?" Zhuge Liang snapped, "What if he sees that sad excuse for a human being, Wei Yan?"

Jiang Wei stopped to think for awhile. "Umm…we'll have one butt-ugly empress?" he then said.

Zhuge Liang looked slightly cross. "And that would be a bad thing of course."

Suddenly, Jiang Wei turned and hurriedly pushed another ball into the reed. He then blew it towards the door.

"What're you doing now?" Zhuge Liang barked.

"I heard someone at the door, Prime Minister." Jiang Wei replied, inching towards the direction of the door, "Wait, I'll check who it was."

_He has rather good hearing…_Zhuge Ling shook his head. "How could you do something so reckless?" he asked, "Well, who is it?"

His protégé only giggled. "You need to see for yourself, Prime Minister."

Arching a brow, Zhuge Liang crawled nearer to Jiang Wei.

They saw Liu Bei staring at Guan Yu blankly.

"Oh gods, no…"Zhuge Liang moaned, slapping his forehead.

Suddenly, Liu Bei's face was slightly flushed in pink. His eyes were sparkling. He spread his arms out and ran towards Guan Yu. "Brother!" he muttered, running into Guan Yu's open arms. The background faded into a swirl of pink flowers and sparkling hearts bursting into colorful fireworks. The faces of Guan Yu and Liu Bei were filled with utter infatuation for each other. The whole world seemed to vanish into a swirl of mist as they stared into each other's eyes.

A sniffle came from Jiang Wei. "Aw, that's so sweet." Zhuge Liang just stared at him, twitching. _Apparently he's enjoying this…I'm feeling sickened on the other hand…At least it's not that detestable retard and it'll only last a week…But still!_

"This is wrong on so many levels…"Zhuge Liang said, "Men are not supposed to love other men!"

Turning towards Zhuge Liang, Jiang Wei stuck his lower lip out. "What's wrong with a boy loving another boy, Prime Minister? It's love, plain and simple…"

Zhuge Liang slapped his forehead.

The two oath-brothers looked deep into each others eyes with intense passion. "Brother," Guan Yu said, "Let's go somewhere private." Liu Bei smiled and the two f them exited the room.

"I think I'm going to be sick…" Zhuge Liang groaned, covering his mouth to keep himself from throwing up.

A smile was then pressed on Jiang Wei's face. "This is going to be so much fun, Prime Minister!" he exclaimed, "Now, who will be our next target?"

_+Fool's Gold+_

**To Be Continued…**


	2. Mischief Makers

**FOOL'S GOLD**

**Summary: Love makes people do crazy things and Zhuge Liang and Jiang Wei are about to find that out when they test a special love-at-first-sight concoction on the Three Kingdoms and create havoc.**

**+Chapter two: Mischief Makers+**

A little lethargic, Zhuge Liang dragged his feet as he and Jiang Wei walked along a path on a hill. His protégé giggled and waved the reed like a magic wand, lightly tapping the Sleeping Dragon's head.

"Let's test that concoction on the other two kingdoms before we try it on Shu. I am truly frightened of the consequences actually." Zhuge Liang sighed, closing his eyes.

"Don't worry, Prime Minister," Jiang Wei said, "I think we're near a Wei camp."

The Shu strategist nodded.

Chuckling, Jiang Wei tucked the reed under his garments. "Prime Minister, watch where you're going, you might slip off the path. The hillside is rather rocky." Jiang Wei warned him, "You're rather near the edge afterall. You should walk on the otherside you know.

"Yes, yes…" the Prime Minister murmured. Just then Zhuge Liang felt the ground beneath him give way. _Oh shit! I'm falling!_

"Prime Minister!"

_+Fool's Gold+_

Softly moaning, Zhuge Liang opened his eyes slowly and saw Jiang Wei hovering over him with an extremely worried expression. The Prime Minister's whole body ached and throbbed. His vision was rather blurry and he felt rather dizzy.

"Oh, Prime Minister!" Jing Wei beamed, excitedly as he kneeled down and embraced his beloved mentor's head.

"Yes, I'm glad to see you too Jiang Wei," Zhuge Liang mumbled, "But you're cutting my oxygen supply off…"

Sheepishly laughing and rubbing the back of his neck, Jiang Wei moved back. The Sleeping Dragon propped himself up and positioned himself into an Indian sit.

"Hm?" Zhuge Liang felt something on hid right cheek. He touched it and realized it was some bandage, "Well, Jiang Wei, you're well prepared."

Jiang Wei giggled. "The poor Prime Minister had a small wound on his cheek, so I covered it up. You made me so worried! I so wanted to examine the rest of the Prime Minister for wounds, but I was too embarrassed!" Jiang Wei slightly blushed, making Zhuge Liang twitch again.

A sigh came from Zhuge Liang but he just chuckled afterwards. "Thank you, Jiang Wei." He murmured. He felt a little throbbing coming from his left arm, so he pulled the sleeve up. There was a big bruise one or two inches away from his wrist. Zhuge Liang grimaced.

Gasping, Jiang Wei then proceeded to fold up Zhuge Liang's sleeve and tucked it in at his elbow area. "Sorry, Prime minister, but I only carry around one piece of bandage." Jiang Wei told him, "But, don't fret! I'll patch you up." Then he began to undo his ponytail. He pulled the ribbon off, causing his long brown hair to cascade down his shoulders. Smiling, Jiang Wei then wrapped his ribbon tightly around Zhuge Liang's bruise. "How's that?" Jiang Wei beamed.

Zhuge Liang reached out and rubbed Jiang Wei's head, "Good job…"he said, "But, I have to ask you something important, Jiang Wei?"

"Hm? What is it?"

"WHERE the hell are we?" Zhuge Liang snapped, pulling his hand back.

"Oh…"Jiang Wei muttered. He seemed disappointed that Zhuge Liang stopped patting him, "Well, we're hiding out behind some rocks near a Wei camp. I had to drag you all the way here, so your outfit is really dirty…"

Ignoring the last statement about his dirty clothing, Zhuge Liang stood up. "Let's try out our little concoction then." Jiang Wei lit up. "You're the greatest Prime Minister!" he exclaimed, tucking some of his hair behind his ear.

The Sleeping Dragon faced Jiang Wei and with a dramatic pause said, "I know." Then a leaf carried by the wind smacked into his face, killing the drama.

"That was cool!"

_+Fool's Gold_+

The two crept up behind a rock nearby the Wei encampment.

Fortunately, there was only one watchtower in the camp and they seemed to be looking somewhere else. There were some soldiers walking back and forth, but none neared their hiding spot.

A smirk was on Jiang Wei's face as he readily aimed his reed at a general. It was none other than his mentor's arch rival, Sima Yi.

"Get him good!" Zhuge Liang laughed with a hint of insanity. He felt like enjoying every ounce of watching Sima Yi fall in love with some on hideous. _Aha! Finally, I will be able to humiliate you beyond all reason! Yes, this is a golden opportunity._

As Jiang Wei got ready to blow on the reed, a cry made him stop.

"A Wu army is approaching!" a Wei soldier yelled.

"What?" Sima Yi exclaimed, "Damn it. I'll show those Wu scum." He then ran off to get the army ready.

Zhuge Liang clenched his teeth. "No matter, that's a minor set back, Jiang Wei." he said, shaking his head, "We'll hit him during the battle."

"Prime Minister, they're going over there." Jiang Wei said, pointing towards a large patch of field which was carpeted with dry dead grass. He could make out the Wei army marching there.

_+Fool's Gold_+

Sima Yi who was mounted on his horse arched his brow. "Zhang He, what's up?"

The fruity Wei general laughed as sparkling blue butterflies flew around him, "Nothing at all, my lord. Hurry on ahead; I'll just secure the area."

Suspicion was drawn all over Sima Yi's face, but he tried to ignore it and rode ahead.

As soon as he was out of sight, Zhang He with a grin ran from the army and went towards the rocks that lined a hillside. "I saw a white fluffy bunny go behind that rock!" he chirped, "I'm going to catch it and keep it as a pet! I know! I can name it Sima Yi! That's such a cute name for a pet!" He was beside himself with joy, imagining what he would do with his new bunny.

He dashed over to where he saw the bunny.

But he stopped in his tracks when a cloud of red dust surrounded him. "What's this?"

Suddenly, Zhuge Liang jumped out from behind the rock. "Jiang Wei, we were aiming for Sima Yi, not this man!"

"Bunny!" Zhang He exclaimed happily, pointing to Zhuge Liang's hat. Suddenly he stopped and looked at Zhuge Liang, his eyes full of ardor. "You're so…beautiful!" Zhang He told him, as blue butterflies flew out from him. His heart was beating madly and he felt a great sensation race through his veins.

_Oh, crap!_ Zhuge Liang knew what this meant. He felt a migraine coming along.

Jiang Wei popped up from behind the rock as well. "What's wrong, Prime Minister?" he asked. A blue butterfly passed by him and he popped it. He then looked at Zhang He and then looked at the seemingly horrified Shu strategist.

"I love you!" Zhang He cried aloud, reaching for Zhuge Liang.

Grabbing Zhuge Liang, Jiang Wei held his mentor away from the fruity general's clutches. "Back off." He angrily told Zhang He.

Frustration was all over Zhang He's face. "Oh, no you don't! He's mine!"

The two growled at each other and there was a spark of hostility between them.

Zhang He then reeled back and cried out, "This calls for a SHOWDOWN!"

_+Fool's Gold_+

**To be continued…**

**Next chapter: Jiang Wei and Zhang He duke it out while Zhuge Liang sneaks off to try to hit Sima Yi with the concoction, only to cause a few Wu and Wei officers to fall in love. **


End file.
